The heart is deceitful above all things,Deceitful above all things, sick, incomprehensible, yet it is that, all of with which, I am to love the Lord my God. It must be possible.
and desperately sick;
who can understand it? [Jer 17.9 (ESV)]
…by believing this opening prayer of thanksgiving in Evening Prayer:
In the darkness of our sin you have shone in our hearts…and whenever the shining in my heart is dulled by deceitfulness so I find my belief wavering, that I remember this from the Psalm for Evening Prayer:
to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God
in the face of Jesus Christ.
When my heart became embitteredI am always with him. Applying my soul, strength and mind to observing a hearty and Holy Lent systematically and with discipline can only draw me closer and make this a true statement:
and I was pierced to the quick,
I was but foolish and ignorant;
I was like a brute beast in your presence.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand. (Ps 73.21-23—in Evening Prayer according to the Church of England Daily Prayer app—https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/id818491760)
Upon you have I leaned from my birth,I just need to keep leaning in the right direction and on the right person. After all, it is good for me to draw near to God (Ps 73.28).
when you drew me from my mother’s womb; •
my praise shall be always of you. (Ps 71.6—in CofE Morning Prayer)