The Revisionist Dictionary: Parts 2 and 3

Some of my favourite gems from that naughty Irenaeus over at Stand Firm. From Part 2... 

EDUCATION FOR MINISTRY: Program by which lay people can learn the sophisticated unbelief taught in seminaries. “In his Education for Ministry lecture, Professor Monti explained that Jesus is ‘a bag of bones rotting outside Jerusalem.’”

EVANGELICAL: Low Church reactionary.

EVANGELIZE: To propagate triumphalism*.

EXEGESIS: Drawing from a text the meaning it should include. “To discern the Sophia* subtext of Colossians 1:15-20, we must employ a deeper*, more rigorous exegesis.” See also Eisigesis.

The rest of Part 2 is here.

Part 3 goodies:

LECTIONARY: System by which we avoid reading unhelpful* parts of the Bible*.

MARRIAGE: Social institution for the oppression of women and the liberation of LGBTQA persons.

MORMONS: Their numbers grow while ours shrink because we are smarter.

More Part 3 here.